MJ's last day as a baby

I cant believe my baby boy will be 1 tomorrow. This has been the fastest, most exciting year of my life and as I am sure its to no ones surprise I am not taking it well. I cried this morning as Mike left to take him to daycare for the last time as my baby. I know it sounds silly but doing things like shopping for him in the toddler section of the Gap kills me. People used to ooh and ahh over how tiny and cute he was and now they remark on how big and strong he is. How can so much change in just one year? Mike and I like to think back on what we were doing exactly one year ago and its funny to think about how nervous we were and what expectations we had of ourselves and of Little Michael. I swore he would never watch a second of tv, I would make all of my own baby food, no way would he ever get to have a cookie or chicken nuggets, all his toys and cds would be educational, my perfect parenting plan was endless. Well as much as I tried I didn't follow any of it. MJ came out with his own personality from the start and knew exactly what he wanted from Mike and I. I don't fret over the occasional Sesame Street viewing or the trips to the McDonald's play land because I have learned being perfect is not how you show your son your love. Instead its by just loving him unconditionally, an intense love I didn't even know you could have for a child. When I was pregnant everyone told me about this special love but I couldn't grasp it until I held him for the first time. The one thing they were wrong about was how my marriage would have to take a backseat and how Mike & I would have to be parents first and spouses second. I haven't felt like that for one second. The overwhelming love I felt for Little Michael the first time I held him was only matched by the rush of emotion when I saw Mike hold him. The idea that the guy I had a crush on at work years ago was now holding our child was almost too much to bare. Our marriage didn't have to take a backseat to being parents they were one in the same and still are.

I am so incredibly blessed to have both of my Michael's in my life! I am really sad to say goodbye to Little Michael's first year because I cant imagine his next could live up to the ride of the first. How he could go from just laying there and staring at you to smiling to rolling to crawling to walking is beyond me. I have to remember that I have a summer of swimming, playgrounds, and running through sprinklers ahead of me. Little Michael will always be my Little Michael whether he is 2 feet tall or 6 feet tall.